The Gift of Impermanence: A Stoic Perspective on Love and Loss

Epictetus reminds us that everything in life, including our loved ones, is only on loan – how can we cherish these connections without clinging to them?

STOICISM BLOG

3/27/20242 min read

"Remind yourself that your precious one isn’t one of your possessions, but something given for now, not forever." -Epictetus

A Modern Translation: The people we love aren't ours to own. They are precious gifts on loan to us for an unknown amount of time.

Simple Explanation: This quote highlights the Stoic principle of impermanence. Everything changes, including relationships. Clinging to people or fearing their loss causes suffering. Instead, the Stoics advocated cherishing the present moment and practicing gratitude for our loved ones while we still have them.

Question:

  • How has the fear of loss impacted your relationships?

  • How can you practice appreciating those you love without becoming overly attached?

  • Can you think of times when accepting change led to personal growth or unexpected joy?

For an in-depth explanation or to read other Stoistica articles, visit the blog at: www.stoistica.com/blog

Deep Dive: Seneca wrote, “That which Fortune has not given, she cannot take away.” This means true ownership is impossible. Our time with loved ones is beyond our control.

Epictetus emphasized focusing on what is under our control - our character, judgments, and actions. We can choose to appreciate our relationships and show love, regardless of how long they last.

Marcus Aurelius grappled with loss throughout his life. His Meditations reveal a man accepting the harsh reality of impermanence while also finding deep gratitude for the love he experienced.

The Stoic perspective on love and loss challenges modern notions of romantic love. It reminds us that true love is found in freely giving rather than grasping to control or possess.

Applicable Situations:

  • Coping with the death of a loved one: Stoicism reminds us that grief is natural, but we can honor those we've lost by living well.

  • Difficult family dynamics: Practicing detachment from the need to control others' behavior can bring peace.

  • Fading friendships or relationships: Accepting change and letting go without bitterness is a sign of inner strength.

Action Items:

  • Express gratitude to those you love: Let them know how much they mean to you.

  • Focus on the present moment: Enjoy the company of loved ones without obsessing about the future.

  • Meditate on impermanence: Reflecting on the ever-changing nature of life helps to loosen the grip of attachment.

Modern Connections:

  • The Fault in Our Stars by John Green: This novel explores love and mortality under the poignant shadow of terminal illness, echoing Stoic themes of acceptance and cherishing the present.

  • The Pixar film Up (2009): The opening sequence heartbreakingly, yet beautifully, depicts the love and eventual loss within a relationship over time, illustrating the impermanence Epictetus speaks of.

  • Celebrities facing loss: Keanu Reeves' open discussion of grief and how it informs his outlook exemplifies a Stoic-like acceptance of life's harsh realities, combined with determination to find meaning.

Like, Follow, and Subscribe - Visit www.stoistica.com for more daily wisdom.

If you got any value from this please consider sharing this content with someone!

#stoicismquotes, #stoicismexplained, #dailystoic, #stoicismmeaning, #stoicismbasics, #stoicismguide, #stoicismexercises, #stoicismtedtalk, #stoicismguide, #stoicismandsuccess, #stoicismrules, #stoicismintroduction, #marcusaurelius, #alphamale, #howtobestoic, #howtostoicism, #ryanholiday, #stoicismdaily, #stoicismmindset, #whatisstoicism, #stoistica, #quotesmotivation, #becomeundefeatable, #stoicismforbeginners, #stoicismbenefits, #stoicismmotivation, #stoicismaudiobook, #stoicismphilosophy