Finding Inner Strength: The Confidence of Reasoned Choice

True confidence lies not in external validation, but in the power of your own well-considered choices.

STOICISM BLOG

2/20/20243 min read

"I tell you, you only have to learn to live like the healthy person does… living with complete
"I tell you, you only have to learn to live like the healthy person does… living with complete

"I tell you, you only have to learn to live like the healthy person does… living with complete confidence. What confidence? The only one worth holding, in what is trustworthy, unhindered, and can’t be taken away—your own reasoned choice." — Epictetus

Questions:

  • How can you focus on the things within your control today?

  • What choices have the power to shape your life?

  • Are your current fears or anxieties based on things genuinely outside of your control?

Simple Explanation:

This quote emphasizes the importance of building our lives on the solid foundation of our own internal choices. True confidence doesn't come from external things but from trusting our ability to reason and act in line with our values.

Deep Dive:

Epictetus, like other Stoic philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, urges us to distinguish between what lies within our control and what does not. Material possessions, social status, and the opinions of others are ultimately fleeting and out of our hands. To focus our energy on these things is to build our house upon sand. Instead, the core of Stoic practice lies in cultivating our inner faculties—our reason, our judgment, and our ability to choose our responses.

This isn't to say Stoics believe in passive acceptance. It's about directing our efforts towards what we can truly influence. Marcus Aurelius echoes a similar sentiment in his Meditations: "The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." The Stoics believed that if we focus on making wise and virtuous choices, external circumstances become less capable of disrupting our peace of mind.

Applicable Situations:

  • Stressful Work Environment: Dealing with difficult coworkers or demanding bosses can be a source of significant stress. Stoicism reminds us that we can choose our responses and maintain internal equanimity even in challenging workplaces.

  • Relationship Conflicts: Disagreements and misunderstandings are inevitable in personal relationships. However, Stoicism teaches us to focus on communicating our needs clearly and compassionately while accepting that we cannot control the actions of others.

  • Health Setbacks: Illness or injury can feel like a sudden, uncontrollable intrusion upon our lives. Yet, Stoic wisdom encourages us to maintain a sense of agency by focusing on what remains within our power, such as our attitudes and decisions about treatment and recovery.

Action Items:

  • Practice "The Dichotomy of Control": Throughout the day, pause to ask yourself "Is this within my control?" Focus your energy on what is and let go of what isn't.

  • Reflect on your values: What matters most to you in life? How can your daily choices align with these values?

  • Reframe negative thoughts: Notice moments of self-doubt or worry about external circumstances. Challenge these thoughts and remind yourself that your inner peace lies within your reasoned choices.

Modern Connections & Analysis

The Stoic principle of focusing on one's reasoned choice finds parallels in various modern contexts such as the emphasis on being present in the moment and observing our thoughts and emotions without judgment aligns with Stoic philosophy.

  • In the scene from the movie "Kung Fu Panda" Master Oogway tells Po "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift...that is why they call it 'The Present'".

  • Writings on Resilience and Grit - Angela Duckworth's book, "Grit," and the work of Carol Dweck on growth mindset highlight the importance of perseverance and focus on what lies within our control to achieve success, echoing the Stoic emphasis on cultivating inner strength.

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT shares the Stoic premise that our thoughts shape our emotional experiences and reactions. It encourages clients to identify and challenge cognitive distortions that perpetuate negative feelings.

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